So you have a man cave? Does it have a bar?
“I don’t always drink beer in my man cave bar, but when I….. Wait…. Yes I do”.
If you have read our impeccably detailed research on the history of the man cave you will have noticed something interesting. One of the very first things that was developed for the man space was a bar. In the old days it was simply a table top with a few high stools surrounding it. Over the years the man cave bar has evolved into being the focal centre piece of many a man cave throughout the world. The reason for this is simple and harks back to the core instinct of man. An instinct to drink beer with friends whilst gathered around a convenient place to prop up one leg.
“Sorry, can’t make it, I’m propping up my man cave bar”
Other comforts have since found their way into the bar area of a man cave. For example, the TV is visible from all angles of the bar so that men with beer can watch men hitting balls with a completely unobstructed view. And if, whilst watching men hitting balls the man with beer feels like sitting down, seating is provided within arm’s reach. Bar stools are set at the perfect height so that the man can simply fall backwards into the seat without a single drop of beer being spilled.
Furthermore, there are signs conveying great wisdom and wit surrounding the space which bring a jovial and friendly atmosphere to the beer drinking proceedings. Add to that the big box that keeps beer cold within easy reach and you have yourself the perfect centre piece. Cold beer at the man cave bar will keep you and your friends in touch with your masculinity for hours on end.
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
The bar is usually full of some great man cave stuff. Stuff like beer coasters with witty words of outstanding humour. Signs portraying wisdom that only men will ever truly grasp. And how can anyone not marvel at a bottle opener that looks uncannily like a spanner or wrench? It is truly brilliant.
The bar is also packed with man cave gifts presented to the owner over the years. After all, they are the only gifts a man needs once he has his own man cave. Gifts such as the glowing fibre optic lamp in the shape of Darth Vader’s helmet could never be replaced with something as mundane as homemade knitwear. That sign that says “I have a drinking problem, my beer glass is empty” makes for a much better gift than a new pair of socks.
So over the years, the man cave bar has become a library of insightful literature in the form of the short quote. It has become a light show of cascading illumination in the guise of various movie characters and sporting forms. Sitting at the man cave bar is like walking down Times Square or Piccadilly Circus at night with the added gift of seating, humour and beer. The TV screen in every man cave the world over glows in its sporting greatness. Just below the sound of the commentators voice, the clicking and clacking of pool balls can be heard as men compete to be the man cave pool champion of the world.
“A man’s home is his castle, but his man cave bar is his sanctuary”.
Let us look at the man cave garage for a second. If you are in Australia or the USA then you are probably blessed with an expansive double-car garage. It is this kind of space that allows you to go wild with your man cave bar. You probably have the space for a large counter top upon which you can place various witty beer mats and coasters. You can surround the bar counter with many bar stools making for a great party after the big game. Large spaces do have their own issues though. With so much more room in which people can stand, sit or lie face down on the floor in, the more strategically placed your TV has to be. Having unobstructed views of men hitting balls is essential to a successful man cave bar.
“My Man cave bar, My rules. OK?”
This can result in some very unique shaped bars designed to get around the many black spots that would otherwise impede mans view of TV’s sporting greatness. But these obstacles can, and often are overcome by man’s inherent genius that comes inbuilt at birth. The man cave garage also has space for possibly a double-door fridge that is the holy grail of cooling equipment. The double door, glass front cooler can be accessorised beyond belief. The lighting that can be installed can bring added dimensions to the bar aesthetics. The signage that can be adorned on the fridge doors can inject a plethora of wisdom into proceedings.
The double door fridge also brings a very large amount of beer cooling capability.
“Never trust a camel or anyone else who can go a week without a drink”.
But what about Europe or the UK? These places are not blessed with expansive, wide open land space. And because Europe and the UK have had many more centuries in which to procreate and populate the land they have, space has become somewhat of a premium. There are 250 million men in Europe alone. That is a lot of man cave bars. Fortunately, not all of those men require a man cave or even know what such a thing is. Bless them. But double-car garages are not common over in those parts of the world requiring more imaginative ways of utilising the space at hand.
“Why limit happy to one hour?”
In small sheds and single car garages the genius of man comes to the fore. The no-space man says “OK, so I am not blessed with much space, let me make a compact man cave bar that utilises the space I have”. And so no-space man tunes into his inherent genius, given to him at birth, and begins work. These smaller bars are packed with man cave items that are very cleverly placed, each item thoroughly thought out to give the appearance of size that defies the reality. In fact, these Tardis-like spaces would literally become time travelling man caves with the simple installation of a flux capacitor.
Mirrors are a great way to increase the appearance of space. When placed correctly they can make a man cave shed in the UK look twice the size it actually is. The mirrored man cave feels like being in a large cinema. Except this cinema has beer, much better lighting and witty jokes. Indeed, some of the best man caves that have ever been created are small and compact.
“No one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.”
So whether your man cave bar is small or whether it expands beyond the horizon, there is no need to feel inadequate or superior. Get the design right and theme it well, balancing wit with wisdom, and your man cave bar will be the talk of the community. So do not worry if you have a small man cave basement or shed, because on this occasion the saying “it is not the size that matters” actually rings true.
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